"Show me Your strong love in wonderful ways, O Savior of all those seeking Your help against their foes. Protect me as You would the pupil of Your eye; hide me in the shadow of Your wings as You hover over me." Psalm 17:7-8

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Putting Up a Spiritual Umbrella - Part 1

"You have been loving and kind to me and will be to my descendants."  Psalm 18:50b

I spent the majority of the day putting the house and to an extent my life in order from an external standpoint.  I laundered clothes and ironed my uniforms, washed and put away dishes, and paid bills.  I even managed to walk twenty minutes on the treadmill.  The wind howled objections throughout the busy day, and occasionally I glanced out the window at the leaves playing in the yard.  I did not however make time to sit in the sun even for a few minutes, or to leisurely walk out to the mailbox.  I had work to complete before allowing myself “free time.” 

The sun disappeared and as my bedroom grew darker marking the end of my last day off, I felt remotely sad.  Then I corrected myself and made an effort to move my heart toward gratitude for what I had enjoyed and accomplished while off.  Still, there lurked inside me a sense of restlessness, the drive to do still more before returning to work tomorrow.  I spent the time on the treadmill reading in Psalms, giving God my divided attention.  This stimulated me further as God spoke and ideas flowed continuously, causing me to fear I would forget every word.  I stepped off and headed to my room to jot a few notes.  I could not tune out feeling hurried and anxious and decided to take a bath and get dressed in the event I might join others for dinner.  Faithful Father spoke the words of Philippians 4:6-7 more than once as I bathed, inviting me to talk with Him.

While putting on my makeup, I clearly heard God say, “Be still.”  I knew He meant REALLY be still – slow my internal pace, breathing and heart rate, and calm myself in His presence.  He understood my desperate need to hear His voice.  He helped me to get quiet and turn my engine off.  I probably remained still in His embrace for fifteen minutes, but during that time on His lap, He went right to the heart of my restlessness, answered today’s questions, redirected and set me totally at ease.  His miracles never cease!!

He assured me He understands my excitement and desire to ready for welcoming the first grandchild into our family.   He has seen the wheels turning the past several days following my daughter’s announcement, and I feel sure He smiles.  Yesterday, while on a scouting mission with my daughter to find locations for a photo shoot, I found myself feeling protective not only of her, but of the child within her.  A couple of unruly dogs met us on the wooded trail and one jumped planting his paws on her belly, and I couldn’t help but gasp and immediately ask if she was alright.  She mentioned earlier having cramps and without forethought, I prayed for the preservation of this tiny new family member.  On learning she had gone to bed late and not eaten breakfast, advice tumbled out of my mouth concerning the importance of rest and a proper diet.  I caught myself thinking about helping her prepare a nursery, or cuddling and reading aloud to a little one again.  I even began to feel self-imposed pressure to set aside money for the purchase of savings bonds!!  

Among the props selected for her photo shoot were the teddy bears she and her brother loved the stuffing out of in their childhood.  We took them from the bookshelf in my room where they’ve waited patiently for years for tiny hands to once again hold them tightly as friends.  I struggled to share them with the family she was photographing, for the bears were on reserve for my grandchild.  The day my daughter told me the news, I headed to the store for a present to celebrate.  I refrained from buying anything yet for the baby, but as I quickly walked the aisles, I noted all the grandmothers shopping for Christmas presents.  I laughed.  First, because I am soon to join the ranks of beautiful white-haired dandelions delighting to share love and life with grandchildren, and second because I never knew grandmothers, like mothers, had a nesting instinct.  Even fathers must internally feel the need to get their act together in order to provide the best for their offspring.  In terms of a gift, I settled for pickles, miniature cartons of icecream, and flowers to express my congratulations and convey my joy to both my daughter and son-in-law.  …. SEE PART TWO FOR THE CONTINUATION OF THIS ARTICLE.

Rest in the shadow, Terry

1 comment:

  1. This is really intense. I'm not sure I can relate to all of the feelings embedded in your posts but it is good. Keep it up though you may have to slow your pace down. The design of the page is beautiful. Welcome to the blog world. AWS