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Jaxon's First Resurrection Basket |
This
morning I woke determined not to spend this gorgeous fall-feeling spring day
before the computer gazing at Pinterest party ideas. I must confess, having laughed at the notion
but a few weeks ago, I am struggling with a party-planning obsession, pinning
idea after idea to a cyber bulletin board.
Embarrassed, I must also admit “pinning” visually and emotionally gives
me a euphoric rush, albeit temporary, and is my new feel-good and choice of
escape. Ugh – now that really is
humbling. OMNISCIENT DADDY understands,
graciously convicts, forgives, and restores order to child who often can’t keep
her balance in this world!! FAITHFUL, He
walks not only beside but inside steadying His children whether toddling anew,
riding precariously without training wheels, or lumbering along cane clutched
toward rim of gaping grave.
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Homemade Resurrection Eggs |
Now I
sit on my porch, laptop warming thighs, writing -- not surfing (ha!), Heaven’s breeze
carrying in her arms tangerine and white butterflies to share this new-life morning
with me. My heart fills!! For several hours I have been putting away
Easter. When the storm blew in late
Easter afternoon, like Dorothy in Kansas,
I raced about the yard bringing under cover the day’s games and
decorations. With help of others, dishes
were washed, and a few things put up where they belong. Remnants remained however in virtually every
room, begging to be put up, out of sight, until next year.
I
began with the resurrection eggs which lay open, their contents spilled and
jumbled. Unfolding the little pieces of
paper with Greatest Story of All, I sorted symbols and eggs and prepared to snap
them shut until Easter 2013. Like many
other bloggers however, I just couldn’t bring myself two weeks after Easter
Sunday to pack it all up without listening long to Risen Lord and His thoughts
about empty tomb(s). At this point in
writing He brought to mind: “I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place
before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your
children will live. And love God,
your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, he is life
itself, a long life settled on the soil that God,
your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” Deuteronomy
30:19-20
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Egg Shell Tea Lights |
So many
thoughts have raced through my head this morning, I feel need to find the
bottom line to determine my destination.
Yet God, like butterflies flitting about my yard, turning my head this
way and that, assures me He will tie up neatly what He desires to say. I invite you back to my kitchen table, where
plastic eggs split open with good news like empty tombs. There I snap pictures, and God informs me I
am colorful egg of Easter, made to contain life – not simply a message written,
read, symbolized, and shared, but LIVING WORD HIMSELF, EMPTINESS FILLING,
LONELINESS OBLITERATING EMMANUEL!!! I
move next to discard broken shell tea lights dyed morning before Easter with
natural juices and spices. God prompts
me to retrieve them from the trash and snap another picture. Again He speaks truth over me. Eggs must break, open, like closed doors on
wombs and sealed tombs, to permit new life, and to form vessels to hold and
emit EVERLASTING LIGHT. How I delight in
life-containing broken shells glowing radiant on table Earth.
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We were made to want more!! |
I
tried hard over Easter to introduce especially to new generation THE FILLER OF
ALL VOIDS, TOMB DEFEATER, JESUS. Still
just beginning to lay hold of the implications myself twenty-seven years post
rebirth, I excitedly packed the day, planting seeds in object lessons, setting
before wondering eyes the truth in living color, that we were meant for so much
more; designed by LOVE as vessels for continual refilling. I’d been thinking for some weeks about why we
desire always more, and more, and more…
And I stumbled as if for first time upon INEXHAUSTIBLE FOUNT OF LIFE’S
desire to perpetually fill us with the more and more and more we desire, FOREVER-MORE. I of course had read and intellectually
understood this, but in grappling with “management” of my own desires began to
think long and hard about living with an undying appetite for more. To think about the point of want, that is!
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Tender and Nugget Celebrated Easter With Us |
At times,
living with want seems confusing business to say the least, a back-breaking
burden of the curse relegated to life on this planet!! After all, aren’t we supposed to mature and
learn to be content (with less), to be satisfied with God alone?? Gluttony, greed, covetousness, adultery, all rise
from a corrupt desire for more, right?? Logic
would demand then that human beings nail unruly want to the cross – get rid of
trouble-making desire at all costs, and bind and gag the deceitful heart from
which it springs!! I’ve attempted to put a sock in the gaping mouth of my
desires, and to cooperate with God in their refinement, putting off many until
heaven. Surely there desire will finally
be perfectly managed, will neatly line up with God’s like good soldiers in His
army, no longer marching to the beat of a different drummer. What a relief heaven will be, no longer stuffing
and stifling want. Then I’ll physically
be with LORD MY SHEPHERD, and shall “really” not want, right??? WAIT JUST A COTTON-PICKING MINUTE!!! There is something missing in this view, I
fear.
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Night Before Easter Resurrection Garden with Sealed Tomb |
God,
GOOD GOD, made me to desire more. My
parents, Adam and Eve, wanted more while in their sinless state, pristine
environment, and in rich fellowship with PERFECT GOD. They wanted, and thus were tempted to want to
be “like God.” Note: they wanted to be
like Him apparently over and above wanting Him, as lovers want and are
satisfied in one another. They had not yet
learned how to REALLY LIVE WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL THING CALLED WANT, to trust GOOD
GOD to make space in them for more of Himself through ever-increasing desire. Our problem is not in wanting more, it is in
accepting less. We err in choosing not
to wait (anticipate more than we could ask or think), and therefore miss the
more of HIM we ache for!!!
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Celebrating!! |
Learning
to be content has nothing to do with curbing want, rather it is the process of
discovering the beauty and point of all want – embracing our form and function
as GLORY vessels, more importantly wanting evermore DESIGNER ALL WISE, who
longs to GIVE WITHOUT END. To whom could
He give Himself but to ones who want Him, who grow to trust more in their
wanting, to mature in their joy-filled pre-climactic ache, to know more fully
LOVE WILL COME AGAIN AND AGAIN TO FILL, ever expanding through want our hearts
to hold even more. What security He
desires to give in context of want fulfilled, WHAT LOVE IS THIS, THIS ONE WHO
WITH UNBROKEN CHAIN OF GENEROSITY LINKED US ETERNALLY TO HIMSELF?? He is RESURRECTION AND LIFE. This day I choose LIFE to fill me!! Thanks be to God for breaking off chains of
lesser gods which offer at best temporal highs, for drawing me into Himself
through want of more!!!!
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Learning With Them To Want HIM More!! |
Wanting Him More In the Shadow,